“Clone More Sheep!” Bestiality Coalition Demands

Blue Springs, MO - The American Bestiality Enthusiasts (ABE) today delivered a stern message to geneticists around the world. “After years of great progress in the field of cloning, we feel that recently scientists have been slacking off,” stated ABE President Vern Heely. “Recent advances in molecular cloning have focused on bacteria and plants. What good is that going to do anyone?”

Long known as the most supportive and vocal lobbyists for animal cloning, the ABE still celebrate Dolly Day every year on July 5th, the anniversary of the birth of Dolly, the original cloned sheep. “Our Fourth of July just comes one day later,” Heely explained.

If the ABE were to withdraw their support of animal cloning there would be no foreseeable consequences whatsoever. “We’ve had enough! Just imagine what we could accomplish if we concentrated all our vast scientific resources on the cloning of more sheep like Dolly,” Heely declared to loud cheers from all four ABE members in attendance at the press conference, which took place in the basement of an area YMCA.

When one local reporter reminded Heely that great advances were in fact being made in the field of human cloning, Heely scoffed and promptly walked out of the room, muttering something about “going back to my farm.”

All legitimate scientists and scientific organizations have declined to comment.